All the Same

Heartbreaks are all the same,
They all my break my heart.

Who should they be,
Bullies or loves,
I know they all hurt the same,
They all break my heart.

Torments of condescension are the same,
Regardless the source,
They all break my heart.

How could my trust be so betrayed?
You all break my heart,
Over and over again.

I'm left with me,
And me will keep me alive,
Until the end.

Sometimes Love

I still hear the flicker of the lights,
The red stop signs,
Fighting in the night,
Smell of blunts,
Lined up to get high,
Screams of love,
Crashing through the door,
Nights where I could not take anymore.

And it was when I'd break I'd know,
That,

Sometimes love doesn't bind,
Sometimes love won't need time,
Sometimes love won't expect,
Sometimes love won't permit you to cry.

You'd take flight,
Wiping out in the night,
Lists of lies,
I would always find,
Sorries cried behind pleading eyes,
Silence of walls,
Deafening in the dark,
Strength is found,
When you fall apart.

And it was when I'd break I'd know,
That,

Sometimes love doesn't bind,
Sometimes love won't need time,
Sometimes love won't expect,
Sometimes love won't permit you to cry.

Street cars lined up,
Honking to get by.
We must have always known,
We'd never make it in this life.

We Won

Here it is, we won.

Finally after years

We remained

United as one.

We broke all the rules

All the molds

The words thrown

At us for being callow.

We used to hold in air 

Through wrapped arms

Keep us safe

Through all the harm.

We believed our minds

Were filled with the other

A trust we had, we built

We fueled to keep us together.

We'd never find another

Like the way we were

With each other

We both knew it.

So, we fought to live forever.

Despite the blood,

Despite the sweat,

Despite the tears,

Despite the fears,

Here it is, we won,

Finally after years.

We Were Only Kids

we were only kids

wrapped up in each other's dreams

fantasy on crack

reality on the rise

you couldn't tell us no

No, you'd never see us 

stop 

tell me otherwise

I'd never leave behind 

The love of my life.

I'd take a breath

you'd exhale

you'd fight a war

I'd die mid air

locked us up

threw away our keys

we never took for granted

what was ours to keep

No, you'd never see us 

stop

tell me otherwise

I'd never leave behind

The love of my life.

we were only kids

wrapped up in each other's dreams

fantasy on crack

reality on the rise

you couldn't tell us no

'cause forever was ours

and we couldn't let go.

Never Ending Happy Unrest

In the lights,
I felt my breath.
In the washes of sound,
I felt each guard begin to shed.

Home was in your arms,
Your heartbeat was the symphony.
Face sunk deep in my neck,
The cradle of harmony.

Making love to the silence of the mouth,
The noises of the streets,
Sitting idle with the stars,
Laid on your back to their defeat.

In the gaze of life,
A never ending happy unrest.

A Nature of Games

If I can't trust you, 

Tell me now.

I'm too tired to ride,

I've been worn out.

Merry-stop-making-it-go-round,

Fall on my face,

Gashes and bound.

If this is a game of challenges,

I am always down,

But if this is a game of exploits,

Take me off,

Or I'll pull me out. 

I've played my share,

Spare me the game. 

I'd rather be without.

Cards in my hand,

They never hold up.

Push me off, pull me in,

I can do the innocence,

Playing for reassurance.

Keep an eye out for the wrong,

Watch that,

I will not stay then long. 

How else do I say,

Convince to parlay,

Fun has its ways,

Without trust dismayed.

Write your book of spells,

Cast your curse,

But for one that stays, naturally. 

Mean it to be,

Only when it is there, naturally. 

Painting the Past

Lay there,

Stare back,

But don't come near,

The image cracks.

What is it about the past,

That always seems to allude me,

Delude me,

Prop me up just to confuse me?

Stress in what is, 

Provides comfort in what was,

Escaping to the known,

Re-coloring thorns.

Who deserves the moment,

That is only bliss in passing,

That speaks well only in its standing?

You'd get it if you knew. 

But when no one can save you, 

Now,

Listen to the heartbeat of the past,

You can, 

To keep you company,

Through the nights, at long last. 

Stole my soul,

Usurped my memory,

All I've got now,

Is on that film roll. 

France, The Army, Josephine

Powerful men in a hurry,

To seize beyond cares.

Don't know what will carry back,

From spears in the air.

It's who you are without me,

That breaks me at the knees,

Kidnaps you across the seas.

Remember me forever,

Your Josephine.

Last of the Devils

Escaped from the memory, 

A snake can't get off my skin.

Last of the devils,

Make me wonder,

Where did it begin.

Took me from white to black,

Charred me well,

Tarred me farewell,

Whatever grace and light was there,

Has been branded with a hissing glare.

Gave it to me hard,

What a beating,

Life to my face,

And here it is again,

Shut the closet case.

Hear a heartbeat,

Upset the zen.

Quick to sink,

Those teeth into,

What will relinquish defeat.

Never satisfied, 

Until the last drop,

Last of the devils,

Doing me in,

Last of the devils,

Won't let me go,

Until I give in.

Never satisfied, 

Until the last drop,

Last of the devils,

Doing me in,

Last of the devils,

Won't let me go,

Until I give in.

The Telling Mask

The decor that weighs down the physical,
Lightens the heavy soul,
Cannot complete societal function,
Without its adorning reassuring role,

Distracted by lights and craze,
Never will they see you weak,
Without those beaming beacons,
You can't exist without defeat,

What masks the frail,
Upholds the strength,
Comes to define what is seen,
Brings dependence to the fake,

It will be okay if you put it on display,
But keep it all in,
They will never know the difference,
Because they can't see past skin.

To Forget Again

Books I've read,
Things I've heard said,
Practices I played,
Pursuits I made,

It was all gone,
Until it became,
Everything I had tamed.

Suppression disperses,
Residue resurfaces,
Floating at the top,
The things you wanted to dismiss.

I'll count the stars laying down,
Thinking about the again found,
Wishing the past would escape memory,

I'll have to face,
That bonds made,
Will forever be,
The sudden death of me.

Nothing Will Be Summer

Your blood is like tears,
Along a window pane,
Wishing I could go soak,
In that summer rain,

Writing on the walls,
With that yellow paint,
That sun is gonna haunt,
Me wind and quake.

Whistling hopes,
Of green believe,
Nothing will be summer,
Nothing will be longer,
Than the rest of the year.

I wish you summer love,
All along the stormy floods,
I wish you a summer love,
With rays that will tear your heart,

Never have you lived a day,
Until you've seen the face,
Of summer love, summer's embrace.

My Truth to Your Lie

What is this infatuation with truth that resides inside of the validity of theory?
What's wrong with a lie creeping in to help instead of crusading for reality?

I watch you from afar and I realize I can stare far into your soul without you knowing,
I don't even have to see your eyes and read what's happening on your inside.
I'll imagine it for myself, because my invented truth,
Brings me more joy than your reality up close.

I'm sick and I need revival, the heat rises to my head and my eyes close back.
Given to me or incurred, this is my reality,
Is it denial to remove myself past the insanity?

Pictures pass of moving objects, that bring back memories and sting,
I can't avoid its first bite, but I can suppress the continuance.
I just can't swallow that truth reincarnation.
To go on, I'll take swim down the Nile,
Relax my brain in the safety of my creation,
Of a future far removed from the present relations.

If what I hear I believe,
But I've been fooled,
How will you ever again know what's being fed to you?
Forget a scorned past, when everything is so manipulated and the nature of want is always involved in self,
Valid judgement is lost, for individuals come with all different pasts, abilities, mindsets.
And lost am I...
To overlook truth to risk a lie or to slip under a lie by a sold truth?

When does Darwin make his introduction?
I'll let it get so bad, that the devil in me rises,
To fight evil with evil,
My version of the survival of the fittest,
Darwin and Malcolm X must have been distant relatives,
My survival seems reliant by any means necessary.

The road paved in front of me I'll paint a bright color,
And make it through the rain.
I'll let it wash away the old and bring in new shades,
A change in watercolor palette will let me paint new landscapes,
To keep me traveling down a road that I thought I could completely pave.

I land in the space of in between,
Where my mind must decide on one side of the regime,
Block a gem to form from a rock, or live with the rock that has become?
Which way can I win?
Do I recreate what is within?

Your truth is a fake, but in it you find comfort and confidence,
Who is anyone to judge?
What about wrong and right?
Then, what of relativity?
Consider his, my, your past,
That brought their truth to your idea of lie?

Just tell me when all this internal chaos will subside.

The Journey Traveled

I tell myself truths that wear the times,
I coach myself through my pine,
I say it will all grow to be fine.

You tell yourself what should be of worth,
You coach yourself to go forth,
You say nothing will pull me away from my oath.

What I found from years gone by,
Was devastation within my soul,
Where I find,
A reservoir of weakness,
That I had locked in secret.

Splashed across my spirit,
The lock broke,
Left me split,
I fought for strength despite it.

To each his own,
But to me, myself,
I'm done with the proximity of the intimates.

So finders beware,
The keeper has been kept.

I am my own.

Unanswered

They say love makes the world go round,
But why does it always stop mine?

When it breaks two into shells of who they were,
Why spin the globe time after time?

Where was the guide to guise,
To avoid the landmines?

Most of all, there's never questioning in joy,
Why is all the yearning found in torn binds?

If you keep falling, you can never fly.

Won't Be You

It's her job to see it, and do it.
Not his to understand, but his to defend his own.
Is that why she never falls in love?

Once a jerk, always a jerk. Why is it so hard to remember that?
A scar all girls wear.

You don't find a solution with the problem.

She's going to leave you and this place forever soon.
And she will throw all this past away once and for all.

A Forever Of Facades

It's a hard life out there,
Not knowing right from wrong,
Separating truth from lie,
Is a job full time.

Don't you wish someone out there,
One person,
Would make it easy for you, take it easy on you,
Just once,
Remove that defense?

When did your world go wrong,
When did the world go wrong,
That we have to rely on pain,
To feel something?

If we all have our masks,
On top of masks,
How can we even ask,
For real love?

If you don't let go,
Then I won't let go.

Well then,
Prepare for the hurt,
The loss of love,
And cheers to that forever,

A forever of facades.

Cruel Games

Catch your lip with your teeth,
Think I can't see from beneath,
That cut that frames those eyes those lips,
God,
Always takes a stab and rips.
Yeah, ha,
Tease a laugh and smile,
I know you know,
It drives me wild.

All the fixings for the right dish,
You just can't help but switch,
Off and on,
Kashke vaghan boodi noe jadide Iran.



Wait,
Is it bad that I just admitted that?
Don't let the truth be hard to look at.
Trust me,
It really is a good thing.

That love of your life that can't materialize,
But can be.

I need it,

(Happy I said it out loud? You twisted mother f***er.)

That pulse keeps me alive.

The thrill you give,

That life-threatening high.

This isn't a story about the physical,
Knew I could twist your minds,
In and out from behind,
Bring you around to the front,
Let you know its a story about love,
That can't quite completely bind,
We never tick on the same time.

Just wanted you to hear how around,
To your wants,
You wrapped me and bound.



So wait,
One last time,
Let me indulge in this inconclusive bind,
I was never one able to deny life's highs...

Go ahead...

Catch your lip with your teeth.

Think I can't see from beneath,
That cut that frames those eyes those lips.

God.

Always takes a stab and rips.

Yeah,
Ha,
Tease a laugh and smile.

I know you know,
It drives me wild.

I Am Titanium

"You don't fall in love easily,"
I know.

I've got my heart standing on its own,
In the middle of a swarm.
It'll always be lonely here,
Inside.
I mind.
It always has been, it always will be.
I don't know if there really is a you with a key.
I make it impossible to penetrate through all these layers of difficulty.
I run free and wild, I'm excessively picky,
I'm distrusting, I keep my distance emotionally.

I know though,
I can still make it with just me.


"You have a lot of power,"
I know.

To have and to hold power...

I am Titanium.

An Excerpt From 'Midnight In Paris'

[ Please note, this is the first entry that is not written by me.  Although, I loved it so much, I decided to post it up. ]


"All men fear death. It’s a natural fear that consumes us all. We fear death because we feel that we haven’t loved well enough or loved at all, which ultimately are one and the same. However, when you make love with a truly great woman, one that deserves the utmost respect in this world and one that makes you feel truly powerful, that fear of death completely disappears. Because when you are sharing your body and heart with a great woman the world fades away. You two are the only ones in the entire universe. You conquer what most lesser men have never conquered before, you have conquered a great woman’s heart, the most vulnerable thing she can offer to another. Death no longer lingers in the mind. Fear no longer clouds your heart. Only passion for living, and for loving, become your sole reality. This is no easy task for it takes insurmountable courage. But remember this, for that moment when you are making love with a woman of true greatness you will feel immortal."

- 'Midnight In Paris'

Listen Up

Shut the fuck up,
For the love of all that is holy,
Just shut the fuck up.

You've made your bed,
Now lie in it.

Tears, blood, and sweat,
I finally called it quits.

Quitter, quitter,
Chicken dinner.

That shit isn't going to phase me,
I'm passed all that hazing.

If you knew what was good for you,
You'd leave me alone.

Forget all the untruths,
And get back to what you do.

Leave me out of it,
For good.

The Vow of An Artist

In heartbreak I lie.

It will always feel,

Like I'm only halfway alive.

The perpetual chase of love,

That's the heart of an artist.

The perpetual feeling of loneliness,

That's the dilemma of an artist.

You probably don't understand,

But--

It's nothing to worry over,

Nothing to pity.

Doesn't mean we're going to drown.

It's just the way we've been programmed,

Just the way we yearn to live.

Doesn't mean we're in a continuous frown.

We live the drama of the heart,

The pursuit,

It's the essence of life;

Its purpose;

The ultimate work of art.

So, in heartbreak I'll forever lie,

No matter who or what it is or isn't I find.

For I am an artist,

And it's the absence of an ideal love, 

That will always feel,

Like I'm only halfway alive.

Losing Hands

(Written: 4/5 months ago,  Edited: Today)
There you go again,
Stepping on my chest,
Reminding who's best.

Tears fill my breath,
Wish I was done,
'Cause I've got nothing left.

Gamble me gone,
I torment you, please.
Fold me 'cause you'll get another set,
Tell yourself,
You just ran bad with me.

It feels like I'm over you,
In the midst.
But I'm just in mourning,
The fact of our death,
Future's unfortunate twist...

...
...

Here,
I've reached the point where I can say,
That:

Never,
Will I rely on man again,
Who,
Vows to stay until the end.

Con-Trap-tion

Just your presence alone,

You could have been sitting on my chest.

Just your name flashing on my phone,

You could have put my lungs under arrest.

It's these tortures I magically overlooked,

It's these distresses I spellbindingly mistook,

For a future you can only find in books.

It's the lack of strolls on the sidewalks,

It's the lack of lays by the pool,

It was the constant staring at the clock,

To reach the realization that I've been dating a tool. 

Yeah, I said it.

You were a tool.

A tool that carved out my insides,

But the tool that brought me to this other side. 

This life. 

That necessary road to this path towards paradise.

Don't let that fool you, though,

You're still that modern tool- a complete idiot.

You know how I know that?

Because you never even realized it. 

Inhale 1386

The smell of smoke and heat,

Brings me back to us under the sheets.

Doesn't make sense, I know,

But it was only with you I let my heart go.

So cut me some slack when I say,

It's these strange things that take me to those days.

I wish I hadn't had my fingers slip,

From the only one that really gave a shit.

I wish I had the strength back then,

To be your Captain and your God given.

Sadly, youth can be the mother and the killer,

Of the great dream fullfiller.

But I just want you to know, 

That I know, now,

You were right when you said,

I won't be loved like this ever again.